Deuteronomy 31:8 Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you."

I am very much missing our African kids and grandkids today. It is their littlest guy's birthday, and I wish I could be there  in person to wish him a “Happy Birthday”,  or at the least be able to send him (and the others) gifts that they could open on their special day. Alas!! Sending gifts to Africa is NOT an easy process! It costs a lot of money to ship things, and I would much rather put money toward the gift and not the cost to send it,  you are never sure if the package will make it, and then the recipients get to pay an added cost just to pick up the gift. Today I am very thankful for Kindle books and games. Yeah for Amazon.  Sending packages is one thing, but I think what I miss the most is being able to touch them and feel the fierce hugs that they give their grandma. One of the grandkids is the BEST hugger ever. You know who you are M.

I know that there are many other parents and grandparents out there with kids that live far away. You understand how most days are so busy, and life goes on, and then there are days like today when I reeeeaaaalllly miss them. In this sadness (and I admit in feeling a little sorry for myself) I have a Father who surrounds me with His presence and comfort. I know that He is the one who called them to far-away places, and I am so grateful that I know He is with them each and every day. Those nights when I wake up with a start with an urgency to pray for my kids and grandkids, I know He is in control and will protect and watch over them when I have no idea what may or may not be going on in their lives at that moment.

This morning I was listening to Pricilla Shirer describe a graphic picture that a friend of her did. It was an image of a girl standing in water with her hands outstretched in worship. It’s a huge picture and hangs in a lobby of a large ministry that has many, many people who have contributed monetarily and/or are prayer partners. She used the pictures of these contributors in the painting.  If you could step in and take a really close look, you would see that each pixel was actually a picture of one of the ministry partners.  From a far-away perspective it just looks like a great big picture, but when you get up close you realize there are actual faces in there. Pricilla reminded us that sometimes we stand back and look at the grand scope of our lives and see all the disappointments, the hurts, the discouragement, the things that hit us that we didn’t expect, etc. But if we change our perspective and get up close we can see that the face of God really is in the details of our life. Even in those times when in the big picture we think that God has somehow gotten lost, HE IS STILL THERE, in fact He has been there all along!!! Thank you Lord. You are in this. You are in every detail of my life, and my kids and grandkids lives. Thank You for reminding me of this today. So thankful!!

Joshua 1:9 ESV Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.

1 Chronicles 29:11-12 ESV Yours, O Lord, is the greatness and the poser and the glory and the victory and the majesty, for all that is in the heavens and in the earth is yours. Yours is the kingdom, O Lord, and you are exalted as head above all. Both riches and honor come from you, and you rule over all. In your hand are power and might, and in your hand it is to make great and to give strength to all.

He makes all things new...

We recently moved.

It has been more of an adjustment than I thought it would be.

I have fought depression, and spent a number of days in my jammies. (poor Denny!) Many of you know how debilitating depression can be. It cripples you. It pulls you under. I heard someone say that many of us are cutters----emotional cutters. We speak words and phrases to ourselves that cut to our very core. When I am in depression I tell myself things that hurt deeply. "You can't do anything, you are nothing, you will never amount to anything or be able to have any influence to anyone". And on and on the cutting words go.

About a week and a half ago I decided to grab and I mean cling hard to the verse  "taking captive every thought".

              For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does.  The weapons we
              fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to
              demolish strongholds.  We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up
              against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to
              Christ.  from 2 Corinthians 10

I know I am in a battle! satan (lower case intentional) and his cohorts do not want me to thrive or have any kind of victory. They love to see me fail, and to see me in distress and floundering.   I remind myself that I am fighting against supernatural forces. And I know in my head that my God is so much bigger, and stronger, but when my emotions are so low, it is sometimes hard to pull yourself up and to believe on the promises He gives us.
Scripture says, "This is the day that the Lord has made, I WILL rejoice and be glad in it." I don't always feel like rejoicing or feel like being glad about anything, but sometimes rejoicing is a choice. It is raising my hand out of the murky waters I am drowning in, and with gritted teeth, take captive every thought.

Please don't take this as it is a chore and a burden to follow Jesus. IT IS NOT. It is a joy to have Him in my life. He is my everything!! But again-- we do not wage war as the world does, we have to demolish the things that put us in a stronghold. Your stronghold may be different than mine.

So I am taking captive of my thoughts and of my choices --- the first one is to get out of bed :-) --- and then  to get into God's Word, to listen to Christian broadcasts and music. This may not seem like much, but there have been days that it took every ounce of strength I had to even get out of bed. Philippians 4 says "Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think on these things. Reading the Word, hearing Christian speakers and singers---- letting the words absorb into my spirit is bringing me healing. Just like the flowers are beginning to show new life, I am seeing new life and a new love for Jesus begin in me. Thank you Lord!!

I'm not sure I can put a youtube link in my blog post, but I'm going to try. This song and the words are awesome. Listen and let the words sink in. Love it, knowing that when we are honest before the Lord, He can handle all things. Thinking on these things...

https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=the+moment+of+truth+matthew+west+lyrics

Made to Crave

I am reading the book by Lisa Terkeurst, called "Made to Crave". The subtitle is "Satisfying Your Deepest Desire With God, Not Food.

In my 20's I went on a journey far away from God. I got involved in a lot of ugly things, including drugs. Food seems to be my drug of choice now, BUT I am learning to crave my Father more than food. For a christian, food can be come a good drug choice. After all, we have it at every church event. It's out in the open with no hesitation or judgment. I'm not anorexic, or bulimic, but I can use food as a comfort, and it had been my good friend for a long time. It is a hard friend to detach myself from. In the book "Made to Crave", the author says: We are made for more than this. More than this failure, more than this cycle, more than being ruled by taste buds. We were made for victory. Sometimes we just have to find our way to the truth.

God's truth says that I can rely on His incomparably great power for us who believe. Ephesians 1:19. Now to remember that I am more than all the excuses I can come up with, and the vicious cycle that I have gone through with my eating (overeating). I am made for more... Thank you Jesus!